Perspective

Yesterday a colleague  of mine was telling that she wants to end her life and was asking for anti depressants  . From outside , she has a perfect life . Beautiful family and a one year old daughter , good job . She was telling that never do something unless you are ready for it . Anything for that matter , marriage or having a kid etc . Probably that s the reason for her depression . We sometimes do  things for others and repent later .

Even if you are doing anything for others , Convince yourself that their happiness means a lot to you and you are doing it . Never have the feeling that you are doing it for someone else . I told her to do art of living course  or visit a psychiatrist .It will definitely help .

Perspectives matter a lot . How we see things . Two eye drops were talking to each other . They were sharing their sorrows . One was like , I didn't get the partner of my choice , so I'm here . And another eye drop was like , I got that  person  , So I'm here . So life is not what we think . We assume certain things or people give happiness which is not true . Happiness can only be created by you . Its how we look at things .

“One person's craziness is another person's reality.” ― Tim Burton

Serenity

Heard a talk by  a CEO of a company  which was uploaded . He was telling the greatest tip for success is ownership in your work . If it was your own business , how would you deal with it . Will you just stick to your role or would you do everything relevant to make it a great success . Greatest skill which we are lacking today .

We need to take responsibility and have a sense of ownership in whatever we do.



Emotional quotient is always more important that Intelligent Quotient . Ability to connect with others makes a lot of difference.

Below Serenity prayer gives lot of strength . Something to be practiced daily.

God grant me the serenity  to accept the things I cannot change;  courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;  Enjoying one moment at a time;  Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;  Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;  Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life  and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

I choose to rather than I have to

Inspired by article by Author  Preeti Shenoy where she has written about love letters .Link is given at the end of this blog.   Relationships - Some of the most beautiful relationships are getting sour because we are always saying 'I have to be here ' and I don't have a choice  . Lets remove "I have to " word from our dictionary . Lets instead say "I chose to be in this relationship " or I choose to work here . Some of the relationships or situations  we have a choice and some of them we don't . Where we don't have a choice , lets  accept them rather than cribbing about those relationships.

 Lets focus more on positives of the person .Write down the positives of the person  and their values  and your whole perspective will change . Everyone has their weaknesses .Lets not too much focus on it . Especially in a relationship lets respect each other values . Write down each others values and discuss about it  .       

Another factor which is important is Trust . Trust is the basis of  any relationship . Today most of them are lying . When you get to know other person is lying , speak it out and discuss in a positive way  rather than keeping it inside and cheating yourself and pretending to be all okay .

Have you cheated anytime ???? This was the discussion in today s radio program and many of them confessed to have .  Cheating is not the right way .It  will  only take away your peace of mind . So think twice before you cheat . It could be any field , not just relationship .

"Do not become possessive. The purpose of a relationship is to complement each other, grow together, and achieve your common goals as a couple. At the same time, you must each maintain your individual identity as a human being."

http://epaper.mydigitalfc.com/articledetailpage.aspx?id=533487#

Small things matter

Do you know the Finance Minister of India ? Do you know President of India ? You may or may not . But do you remember the teacher  in school who appreciated you or the friend who helped you when you needed the most  .Of course you would remember that  . So its not the big things that matter , its  the small things . 

Be very careful while shouting or making fun of  someone . You are disrespecting them  . Even parents tend to shout at children , physically beat them up , keep comparing them with others , excessive criticism , keep telling them you are no good. This will have a serious impact on children . Their self esteem will go to all time low . Parents tend to say they are doing it for discipline and they care for them . Discipline can never be imposed this way . With love and care only , discipline can be imposed .These kids won't have confidence to face the world . Future needs confident people and not emotionally weak and we are making them  very weak.


Would you like if someone scolds you and asks you do the work ??? Similarly leaders and parents should not shout and get the work done. This can be said in a different way without getting angry or shouting .Never let down  the individual . Never let down enthusiasm of anyone .




"Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you."-Joel Osteen

Just for fun

Just an interview with Myself . We ask everyone all possible questions but don't ask ourselves . Take some time and ask these questions or more to yourself . You will be amazed at the answers .

1. Whats your purpose of your  life ? 

I'm still  exploring it ,at least it is not to be stressed and unhappy . It would be to be happy and Spread happiness 

2. What do I like doing ? 

Dancing , listening to music , Writing , Reading , Walking in the evenings or mornings , Travelling .

3. What makes you create hurt ? 

When people don't keep up their promises or don't make commitments and when people tell lies or cheat for no valid reason.

4. What is love according to you ? 

Its a beautiful feeling where you are completely yourself and don't have to put on an act . 

5. What do you want to achieve  in life ?

To make this place a better place to live and do my bit in whatever possible way . 

Don't get disturbed

Lets Count our blessings . Beautiful Weather , family and friends  - Things which we take for granted . Lets value them . Lets be thankful rather than asking questions like why me etc ? . Inspirational video by a girl who is termed as ugliest in society . Worth hearing  it . Link given below . We get so disturbed by a mark or pimple on face or  if we put on weight etc  . Our life is much beyond that it . Lets strive to make this place a better place to live rather than getting disturbed for small things :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0OV92Yyl20

Lets reduce Facebook/ whatsapp and have more face to face interactions . We never understand empathy at all. We never know our neighbors, colleagues etc . We all need validation . Was that okay ????Lets validate ourselves rather than getting everyone s approval . Whatever happens , we should not get stressed . Every situation will pass and whatever happens is for the best . Give your best every moment . Don't fret about unnecessary stuffs . Laugh more and play more . Every hour do a mental check whether your mind is disturbed or not , if its disturbed,  change it immediately by changing your thoughts . Its like a kid inside , we need to keep asking it, are you okay . We tend to ask everyone , but forget to ask ourselves . When we take care of ourselves , we can take care of everyone else. If we are in pain , we can't see someone else s pain at all.

Be yourself, because like Oscar Wilde said, everybody else is already taken.

“ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY”- Abdul Kalam 

Respect Women

Do you know cooking ? ? First question most of the guys ask women  . I'm not saying we shouldn't know cooking and all ...Its good to cook your own food rather than having outside food . But that should not be given so much importance . Its completely a person s choice if they want to cook or not . If a guy doesn't know cooking , its okay . But if a girl doesn't know cooking ,its considered something strange .


 Common lets grow up . Lets accept and respect women . We can't treat her like kitchen appliances .Beautiful  article and ad video depicting the same given in the link below

http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2014/05/kitchen-appliance-35-second-advertisement-debunks-traditional-gender-roles/

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” 
― Brigham Young

 

Awareness

After a long time was watching a Kannada Movie called Lucia  and it was exceptionally good .  Our life will be somebody else s dream . So don't keep wishing for a better life . Be happy in the present moment rather than saying I will be happy only when so and so things happen. If you take care of your present and live in the present , your future will be definitely good . But most of times we are in the past or future . Either worry about future or think about past .

Understand that nothing last forever .Be soul conscious . Be in the awareness that  you are a pure , powerful soul and treat everyone  the same . Even baby in mothers womb can get the vibrations and energy of the mother  .At that time,  mother should not only take care of her health but should have the highest positive thoughts for the child as well. Whole family should not create one negative thought against the baby that it should be a boy or girl etc . Baby will get rejection vibrations right from the beginning .

Appreciation to  the child should not be on  things which the child does but on the qualities which they inculcate .

Are they being truthful ?Are they being respectful ? are they Treating everyone  equally irrespective of status ,occupation etc. These need to be taken care of not only the marks they score or achievements .
We need to care about the people around us and not be completely insensitive . If someone is sharing their problems we need to listen rather than being occupied in yourself.

Well written article about transgenders by my friend Dhanya , posted it below . Those people in society who are totally ignored . Need to reflect on it .

http://thefirstoneofme.blogspot.in/2014/05/lets-support-these-initiatives.html?view=sidebar  .

Say No

When was the last time we said no to someone  , We always tend to say YES . In the long run , we don't have time for anything and in complete mess . We don't have to please everyone and we can't  please everyone . We need to learn to say NO  .  We take up huge amount of work and end of the day have no time  for ourselves .

Take up how much ever you can . When we  tend to say YES for everything , people tend to expect the same from us always .

Another nice article regarding saying  NO , do read article in link  below

http://zenhabits.net/say-no/












“Being unable to say no can make you exhausted, stressed and irritable.” 
― Auliq Ice

No is a complete sentence and so often we forget that. 
When we don't want to do something we can simply smile and say no. 
We don't have to explain ourselves, we can just say "No". 
Early on my journey I found developing the ability to say no expanded my ability to say yes and really mean it. 
My early attempts at saying no were often far from graceful but with practice even my no came from a place of love. Love yourself enough to be able to say yes or no.” 
― Susan Gregg

Right Thoughts

An interesting survey  which shows the impact of positive thinking on our mind . A Japanese Scientist called Emoto , he found out the impact of good words , good music  on water . When positive words are  in contact with water , they form a very crystalline form and negative words do not form the right form  . And our body is composed of water , So we can know the impact of negative thoughts on our body and mind . So be very careful in your thoughts which later becomes our destiny .If you have hatred towards someone , it will first affect you . So be very  aware of your thoughts . 

Detailed study of the research available  here on this link
http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html

 Even working out with music helps us do for a longer time and motivates us to do the work out .

 Even heavy metal songs not so good for the  mind .So listen to good music .

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” 
― Abraham Lincoln

Addiction

Here i'm not talking about smoking or drinking addiction . I'm talking about people addiction . We get addicted to people . We don't feel happy if we don't speak to someone or meet someone . We feel bad when they talk to others more than us . What a strange addiction it is ? Worst part is we don't even realize that we are addicted to someone .

 "Realization or awareness "is the most important step . Realize can be split as "Real Eyes " . Once you are totally aware of your addictions , then you can let it go . Awareness can be definitely increased by practicing meditation and yoga .


Even to your partner , friend or family too much attachment is not good . Once you get addicted or attached , it leads to fear of losing and  fear in turn causes diseases  Most of the diseases are psychosomatic that is caused due to mind . So the first step is getting to know your addictions and letting it go .






“An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.” 
― Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

London Bridge

Almost all Malayalam movies have a moral  .London Bridge , another brilliant movie which i enjoyed watching . We realize the value of something only when we lose it . Never belittle love . Never choose wealth over love .

I see so many people choosing their life partner on the basis of wealth . I understand wealth is important , but that should not be  only criteria .I have seen people who leave the person whom they like for a richer person . All these doesn't make sense . In the long run , you have to live with the person not just their wealth .










 Never be greedy . We all remember the hen story  ."A cottager and his wife had a Hen that laid a golden egg every day. They supposed that the Hen must contain a great lump of gold in its inside, and in order to get the gold they killed it. Having done so, they found to their surprise that the Hen differed in no respect from their other hens. The foolish pair, thus hoping to become rich all at once, deprived themselves of the gain of which they were assured day by day." . Don't do something which is not right just to make some quick money  which you have to repent later . 


"Have a good reason why you are doing what you are doing. Then you will be able to go through any obstacles that come your way.

And don't be afraid to fail. A failure remains a failure when you don't take the lesson it has to offer." - Khurshed Batliwala -art of living Teacher 

Reflections

Shocking to see today s newspaper . There are so many Suicide stories . One is about a girl who committed Suicide because her mom asked to delete her account in Facebook . Another girl committed Suicide because someone fooled her stating she failed in exam where in she had actually got first class . Where are we heading ? We can't stay without facebook , internet etc . We have got literally addicted to them and there are de-addiction centers  to remove these addictions like for smoking , drinking  .

We are not in a position to face even small failures . Its time to reflect what exactly we want from life . To realize , marks are not everything . Initially marks mite help you , but in the long run , its how smart you are as a person and your attitude  that will help you sustain .

      There was a survey  on successful people and most of them attributed their success to attitude rather than marks in school  or technical knowledge .  Marks or technical knowledge are important but its only 20% remaining 80%  is your attitude and how you are as a person. 

Imagine you are going to a funeral , you see all your dear and near ones there . Later you realize its your own funeral and one person from your family , friend , colleagues circle has to speak about you . What do you want them to speak about you ??? This imagination will change the entire way how you live your life .  So always keep this in mind while doing anything . Do you want them to speak good things about you or other . At the end of your life , only your sanskaras or impressions  stay with you others all will be gone . It really won't matter how much you scored in exams or how much you are earning .





"Lets be thankful for everything we have  rather than cribbing about what we don't have "

Respect Yourself

 One of my friend was telling , her friend is not responding to her calls nor replying to her messages on whatsapp in spite of  being active in whatsapp .  I told her its high time you waste time on people who don't respect you  or don't give some time for you . I know they mite be busy  , very busy in fact  .But it doesn't take more than 5 minutes to reply to a message or make a call however busy you are .




      The point I'm trying to make here is  lets stop focusing  on people who don't value us or don't give us priority in their lives . Lets not make them our priority instead  focus on developing the relationships where we are nourished , appreciated and cared . Lets stop  seeing somebody s last seen time and waste our time on it . Its high time we start respecting ourselves . Lets don't lose our self respect .Stop making someone else the priority of your life . Get your priorities right .

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

―Buddhist Saying 

Queen Effect

Queen , Such a beautiful movie . Felt so good after watching it . Every person should watch it .  When something bad happens in our life , we go so low . This movie teaches us to fight back . Life can throw any challenges but your  determination that matters . So what , if the guy or girl  whom you liked has left you , there are many more out there . You deserve a better life . Don't be with anyone who doesn't treat you right


 Some people spend too much of their time and money on relationships which are not worth , instead focus on yourself , developing your qualities .  Live life on your own terms not by what society defines .

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you And stay.”

― Will Smith

 Author Chetan bhaghat has well said below   . Lets reflect on it 

Commitment

"Hate people who don't keep up their words " -This is one of my friend s status line on whatsapp .  I know how it feels when people don't keep up their promises  or words . If you are not sure of it , don't make a promise . If you tell someone , you will call them , make sure you call them or if you tell someone you will meet them , make sure you meet .  Its extremely rude if you don't keep up promises and give lame excuses for breaking promises .



Common , I know sometimes you may not be able to keep up promises but not always. A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds . We don't respect people who don't keep up their words . Don't hurt anyone by making false promises  . Someone someday mite do the same to you . Life is an echo , what we give  , we get .Be very careful in words which you speak .






Worst are people who don't even make a commitment for whatever reasons. They hangout  and then when it comes to commitment , they say my parents will not accept etc etc.  These are seriously cheaters. If someone is not ready for commitment , don't hang out with them . Make yourself a promise that you won't be  with anyone who is not ready for commitment.












"If you succeed in cheating someone, Don’t think that the person is a fool… Realize that the person trusted you much more than you deserved… !!"

Insecurity

We feel so insecure about so many things - Job , Relationships etc.  Insecurity is fear of losing and thereby it leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction . Insecurity even causes jealousy in relationships . Due to fear of losing someone we like , we tend to feel jealous when they are happy with others .  Common ,lets grow up and not feel insecure about these small stuffs . If your partner is happy talking to someone , let them be .
Why do you have a problem about it ?Why do you feel jealous about it ?????At the end of the day , you want them to be  happy right ?

   Jealousy is such a negative feeling , you don't feel good when you are jealous . This is also caused due to excessive attachment and the best way to let go these attachments is Just imagine that relationship or that job which you are attached to is no longer with you . I know its little scary . Nothing will happen to your job or relationship , it will be with you , but just imagine . I tell you , you will feel a lot lighter and will be able to give 100% in the job or relationship .  And nothing is gonna stay with you forever . You are gonna lose everything one day .

Another best way to let go of you attachments is do lot of seva or service . Anything which you can do , do it :)