Don't be serious

  

Yesterday I had a amazing Satsang with Guruji  . There was a huge gathering at Bellandur  .We were

greeted with chandan on forehead and music and beats .After a bhajan , Guruji was on dais and people were all excited . Some Insights from yesterday s Satsang . It was refreshing session for me . 

We all know the woodcutter story where people told him to sharpen the axe and then continue working .But he was like he had no time . Similar way we continue to live our life without taking a pause and not updating  ourselves . 

Bangalore is known as Suicide capital , we need to change and make it smiling capital . We need to check with people if they are depressed and try to help them.

We need to have more Satsangs in society . People should gather together in their area , apartments , play games etc . 

We should have so much enthusiasm and smile in our lives , not a brooding face .

We need to devote  some time for volunteering activities .

Purity in thoughts , clarity in mind is what we should strive for. 

Medicines have only 38% power to cure diseases , Remaining is done by proper rest to the body. 

Even Chetan Bhagat s speech below  also says about similar things . Don't be serious 

Humanity

   

         Yesterday while I was returning back from work , my cab Tyre got punctured . It was quite a dark place and my cab driver was struggling to do it since he was not so experienced in changing Tyre .There was  this one person who was  going in same way in his car  happen to stop and thereby his headlight helped my cab driver change the Tyre . It made me realize humanity does exist . There are good people around .




         How many times have we passed by accident scenes and do nothing about it . Our small help could save someone s life . So think before you move away. Otherwise there won't be much difference between animals and human beings .






Video which really makes us think  .Have a look at this link . Lets be humane .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrwKkMpl1Gg

"Let our New Year's resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word." 

Goran Persson

True Test

         Most of us are always in a confusion as what is right and wrong . In Shiv Khera s book , you can win , he mentions about the Mama Test  . Mama test is if your mom or children  are  seeing you doing this task  , would they be proud  of you  . If the answer is no , then don't do it . 

       I have seen people who behave differently to different people based on position . They tend to treat their boss  and driver differently . Its good to see everyone as individual souls rather than treat them based on their  position. Treat everyone equally . Give the due respect to all not  just based on the position they hold .

         Even parents tend to treat children as if they  are superior and they have to listen to them . Children tend to feel suffocated here . So its better to treat them as individual  souls who have taken birth in your place . Treat them with due respect rather than imposing your rules on them . Guide them through but don't force your rules on them . Let them learn from their mistakes .


Seven Deadly Sins

Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi


“The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.” 
― Abigail Van Buren

Anger

           Anger is temporary insanity  . Going out of control is anger . We have no control of what we do and say when we are angry .  When we later think about later , it seems so silly .
 

 
                 If we take care of small small irritations , bigger situations can be handled more effectively . We get angry for small things .  There are different ways to control it . One is total awareness of situation  and realizing we are responsible for ourselves and not blaming others and  situations for our anger  .


 
 Lets create more peaceful environment rather than violent environment by anger .  Personally art of living techniques has helped me a lot in reducing anger .Different people use different techniques . Find out what suits you best and follow it . Getting angry only results in loss  and more pain . Some of the techniques mentioned here , we  can try any of it.

Take deep breaths 

Drink water 

Count till 100 

Listen to some soothing music . 

Read something positive 

Self Management

                    Our first responsibility is managing ourselves , then family and then work . If we can take care of ourselves well , everything else will fall in place  . But most of the times we tend to neglect ourselves and try to please others which leads to more confusions .So our foremost priority should be our self . We need to be happy first .

           Suppose your family member is not ill , then you need to be healthy to take care of them . Similarly you need to be happy first then  only  you   can spread happiness to others and help someone else . If you are in pain , then you wouldn't be able to see anybody else s pain .
  
      While taking any decision , we tend to be in lot of confusion . Ask yourself if the decision nourishes you , then go ahead else don't . It could be small decisions or major decisions like career , marriage etc .


               We create our own thoughts and thereby our attitude ,perception etc . We should never blame anyone for whatever happens in our life . We are solely responsible for the same .That's called Responsibility . We need to be responsible for ourselves and decisions we make . We make or break our life.

Soulmate

           
                         Everyone keeps asking me these days what are  the qualities you are looking for a partner and I will be like I don't know or I'm not very clear about it .Yesterday I made a list on what are the basic things partner should have . List consists of caring , hardworking , understanding , honest etc etc . But then I realized all these things don't make much sense . The foremost criteria is the person should be a good human being rest all comes secondary . If person has all other things and not a nice person , its not worth it .


          And there should be certain level of compatibility between two individuals  . You need to feel comfortable being with the other person . You need to actually feel good . Your frequency should match with the other person . There is nothing called soul mate . You be the perfect soul with all the qualities which you are looking for in a person and surely you will find your soulmate . 

“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” 
― L.J. Smith

Effective Habits

We had a discussion with top management and some insights from the discussion. They spoke  about 7 effective habits of highly effective people from Stephen R  covey s book . They are added over here with my version of it. 

 Think Win Win - We should not think only about ourselves . When we help others and make them win, we win in a big way .

 

Be Proactive -Don't wait for problems to arrive . Think before the problem arises .

Synergy -Working together is better than doing things alone .  If you plant two plants close together,they  improve the quality of the soil so that both plants will grow better than if they were separated. If you put two pieces of wood together, they will hold much more than the total of the weight held by each separately. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. One plus one equals three or more.

Sharpen your saw -Learn as much possible .Develop your skills rather than waiting for opportunity.

Begin with End in Mind -Set goals  .Know where you want to go and be focused 

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood- Listen more , talk less. Have empathy towards others. 

Put first things first -Prioritize  . Give priority to happiness , health and  family 

Criticism

 Have you observed how sales representative smiles even after slamming door against them ? Even customer care executives and  air hostess , however rude you speak to them , they say will call back or thank you and keep the phone. If they have  so much strength  , even we do have . They are doing it for their job and we can do it for our happiness.

           
We get so upset when someone criticizes us or insults us  .When someone criticizes about our work or the way we behave , we get so offended and take it so personally . That's where our attachments lies.This can be used to know our attachments .


     If we get upset if someone criticizes about our work , then our attachment lies in our work . Similarly if someone says about our looks as well , we get offended . Again our attachment is on physical appearance  . So lets have a check on these.



 Lets stop criticizing about others as well. Unless and until it really helps the other person , don't criticize .

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard

Be Grateful

When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” 
― Anthony Robbins

Why do we go to religious places ?  Just because elders ask us to do so or to ask something to God .These two are not  the  best reasons. Religious place is more purer place and there are good vibrations around the place .Therefore even normal  Prasad (Sacrament ) would taste so good that is due to vibrations . Vibrations make a lot of difference . Sometimes we enter a place , we feel so good and  other places we don't feel so good .That is the magic of energy .

We basically need to go to these places to increase our stability and to reduce  our weaknesses rather than just going and begging for something . In fact we need to be very grateful to whatever we have got .

    So next time when we go to a religious place , lets be thankful and pray for our stability .We generally praise God with all good things , this is so that we imbibe these qualities in us.


 More we be grateful , more will be given . If you keep complaining and cribbing , whatever is there with you also be taken back.

“It makes no difference where you go, there you are. And it makes no difference what you have, there’s always more to want. Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy because of what you have.” 

― Zig Ziglar

Sleep

  Most of the solutions to all problems is sleep . Even if  you had a bad day , after a good  night sleep , you would feel much better next day There is a proverb like if any problem is bothering too much , take a pillow and go to sleep .That is the power of sleep and we tend to neglect a lot . Either we sleep less hours or have interrupted sleep . You need to feel fresh after a good night sleep  .If not you are not feeling fresh , then you are not  getting proper sleep .

 If you are mind is very disturbed and stressed, its better to sleep and come to solution later rather than taking a decision . Solution after sleep would be much better .At least 6-8 hours sleep is very much required . If you are not getting sleep , try these techniques

Exercise regularly 

Read something good before sleeping 

Reduce stress by practicing yoga or  mediation

Have some milk before you sleep .

Write  a journal daily before sleeping -lessons learnt , grateful things etc.

Switch off your phone before you sleep.

Have a fixed schedule to sleep even on weekends also.

Sleep is the best meditation.-Dalai Lama

Food for thought

       There is a huge  impact of food on our mind . What we eat , we tend to become . So its very important to be mindful of our eating habits because our thinking is shaped by that.

      How do we feel after having a fruit or vegetable ? How  do we feel after a heavy meal ?  
Having non vegetarian food has a direct impact on the mind .When someone comes to kill you , what kind of feelings do you have ? It will be generally negative , fearful , hatred right  .Similarly when they slaughter animals for food , they too have same feelings and when we consume them , we tend to develop the same .

 We are trying hard to work on ourselves and trying to reduce anger and all other negative feelings .Having non veg food  becomes a blockage to it . Non vegetarian food definitely will not help you to reduce anger  and other negative feelings . And we are giving a strain on our digestive system as it takes more time to digest non veg food than veg.

     Even processed food like maidha is not so good for the mind and can cause obesity as well. So think well before you have that bakery food. Even garlic and onions are not  too good for mind. It has medicinal properties but we have medicines in very small quantity right .Similarly these can be consumed

Going meat-free can make a huge difference. Studies show that vegetarians are, on average, 10 to 20 pounds lighter than meat-eaters and that a vegetarian diet reduces our risk of heart disease by 40 percent and adds seven or more years to our lifespan.

Ingrid Newkirk

“Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

Mind

Idle mind is a devils workshop . I can so much relate to this proverb . Never be idle at any point of time . Keep yourself engaged in  some useful  activity . Just to kill time , don't waste time on unnecessary activities also.

         Even watching television and movies is not the best thing to do . Watching TV and movies reduces your creativity . Work of mind is to produce thoughts . While watching movies and serials , mind doesn't create any thoughts . Its like ready to cook meals , we don't have to think ,  thoughts are created by them and given to us . Mind becomes numb during and after  watching serials , movies etc and takes real long time to start creating thoughts .When we face with a challenging situation , we won't able to find best  solutions and keep asking everyone . In fact ,the best solution can be found by us only .
 
               So be very careful on what you feed your mind  . This is what we exactly mean by impact of media on children . Now we know its not only children , all of us are  affected .May be we can reduce the amount of serials or movies watched and do other creative work which will make our mind think better . 

                            What we feed our mind is extremely important . If we feed good thoughts , quality of thoughts produced will be good . Spend time with people who make you feel good and bring out the best in you not the opposite.  

                   Even reading newspaper or watching news early in the morning is not the ideal thing to do .Its more of negativity and we churn on it the entire day . Mind is like a bloating paper and early morning, absorption power is highest . So what we feed it directly has an impact on mind .Try to read something good early morning not newspaper . May be we can read the newspaper in the later part of day .

Beauty

Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder . Now a days we give lot of importance to  physical appearance   . I know its good to look good , it feels good also . But that should not be the  only motive .  We need to try to beautify our inner self  . All of us can't be perfect outside but we can become perfect inside .

   Recently I read in the newspaper where a school girl committed suicide because she didn't get  many likes in Facebook .I think this is too much . We should not associate so much importance to external appearance. It is perfectly   fine to beautify yourself and look presentable but that should not be given too much of importance .

 Most people like others for the person they are rather than for the external beauty . May be initially physical appearance might  attract people  but in the long run its more to do how  the person is . One  of my  friend  was telling  me other day ,he wants to build   6 pack abs etc  and I told him its more important  to be healthy , happy and good person rather than having 6 pack abs.

  This doesn't mean you eat whatever you want and be obese without any physical exercise etc  . Take good care of yourself by eating healthy , being fit and happy but don't give too much of  importance to physical appearance .Don't judge someone by their looks .

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.-Kahlil Gibran

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Relationships

 
We are social beings . We can't stay all alone . We need people to nourish , nurture and grow .
Relationships are necessary . But today relationships are becoming very fragile , they don't last long . Divorces are becoming very common. I'm not saying we need to be in a bad relationship but are we giving our 100%  to make it work . Are we giving more than receiving ? Are we demanding too much ? Are we having too many expectations out of it ? Are we always doubting whether other person likes or not ? 

 Never doubt a relationship . We always doubt good things . Assume the other likes you and operate out of love. Staying in a bad relationship and cheating doesn't make sense. Extra martial affairs are increasing . If you can't stand the relationship , its better to walk out rather than staying in it and cheating . Trust  is the basis of any  relationship . Speak out if you have any issues and try to resolve it rather than fighting .

In art of living , Guruji gives these tips for men and women  .For Women , Never step into a man s ego . Keep boosting his ego even if the whole world lets him down , you don't let him down. For Men , Never hurt her sentiments  . Never talk badly about her family etc and give her your credit card for shopping :)




"Love is when you sit beside someone ,doing nothing ,yet you feel perfectly happy"

Where there is love , there is life-Mahatma Gandhi











"If love is based on the qualities of a person that is not stable. If you love someone because they belong to you , then that love remains for lifetime and that is unconditional love-Sri Sri"

Karma

As you sow , so shall you reap . This is so damn true . We sometimes never understand  but this brings  tremendous peace within us when we understand about Karma .All questions like why me etc  come to an end when you understand it . Why we are fond of some people and not others is again due to Karma .We might have some past karmic account with them . Why some people cheat , reject and leave us is also due to this.

      Sometimes we wonder why bad things happen to good people  . This is also due to Karma . May be not in this birth but in previous birth's bad karma . We can't do anything for what happened before. Now what we do is in our hands .Even if someone behaves or does bad to us , we should not be bad to them for the same reason .If we do, it will become our karma.

                      Lets be very careful in our present actions and don't create any bad karma. Even small things like telling a lie or hurting someone account to bad karma. Even thinking bad about someone and wishing them bad is also bad karma . So lets be very careful in our thoughts , word and action.

Ways of karma are very strange . Sometimes friends becomes enemies and enemies becomes friends.Sometimes new born baby might be born with diseases or might leave the body . This is all because of Karma. Lets focus on the present and not create any bad karma. Past whatever happened is over , lets not brood about it.

     Today how you treat your parents , even your children will treat you the same . Sometimes even worst. That is the game of Karma. Think twice before you cheat someone or harm. Sometimes it can happen even without your knowledge . Be double careful

.

How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.-Wayne Dyer

Be yourself

Don't be a football to others opinions . This story above  illustrates it  best . We try to please and listen to  everyone even if its not good for us . There is nothing wrong in listening to others and taking their opinion , but the final judgement should be yours . Unless it is useful for you in any way and makes you feel good  take the opinion otherwise just discard .

  Don't take everybody s rubbish and be hurt . He said something or she said something, all that is nonsense . Use your common sense and distinguish between good and bad . If something doesn't seem right and you are asked to do it, don't do it unless you convince yourself its right .Don't get disturbed by what others say . 

What others think really doesn't matter . What matters at the end of the day is how you feel . After listening to everyone you are in depression , then that doesn't make sense. It could be small decisions or big life changing decisions like career or marriage .Don't just do it for someone else . Even if you are doing it , convince yourself that its for your  good then do it . Don't keep thinking what society or relatives will tell. If you are convinced and happy , that's what matters most.

 Just because someone said something you don't have to change yourself . If you think its good for you , then change not for others. We are not here to please everyone . So many of us tend to smoke and drink just because others are doing it even after knowing it its not good for you . Don't put on act for someone else .Be yourself  . If someone doesn't like you its their problem it has  nothing to do with you . You don't have to change yourself unless you feel its the right thing to do.

“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Live and let live

Understanding the significance of festival and then celebrating brings in a different kind of joy . Yesterday was ugadi and I got to celebrate in a different way . Got to know the significance of Ugadi through Youth For Seva . Ugadhi is the New Year's Day for the people of the Deccan region of India. Having Bevu-Bella (jaggery-neem) symbolizes the fact that life is a mixture of different experiences (sadness, happiness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise), which should be accepted together and with equanimity through the New Year.We should not get overwhelmed by excitement when something good happens and not get into depression when something bad happens . Need to maintain a balance .

Through Youth For Seva (YFS) , I got an opportunity to visit bal mandir  near kidwai hospital . We got to distribute fruits to them .It was shocking to see children less than 1 year , mentally challenged , orphaned kids , kids with deformities and children who have committed crimes  over there. For whatever reasons , parents should not abandon their children .

If they are ready to have children , they should take total  responsibility however they are.   If its a female child or if they are mentally retarded or whatever , they need to be taken care of. They can't be abandoned like this .  They need the support , care and love . In fact they need more , if they are not normal .Talking about children who have committed crime , if parents have taught proper values , I don't think they would ever commit any crime. Parents need to take promise from children every year on their birthdays the following vows.
1.They should not cheat anyone or harm anyone
2. They should not do anything bad for the country and not keep quite if anyone else is doing.

   If they make the following promises ,I'm sure there would be less crimes in the society .We may think these are small things but they make a huge difference . Unless we are personally affected , we don't think about these. Time to put on our thinking caps and try to make a difference . Live and let live .Lets make this poem  our prayer too .

  Om Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah
   Sarve Santu Nir-Aamayaah |
   Sarve Bhadraanni Pashyantu
   Maa Kashcid-Duhkha-Bhaag-Bhavet |
   Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||

Meaning:
1: Om, May All become Happy,
2: May All be Free from Illness.
3: May All See what is Auspicious,
4: May no one Suffer.
5: Om Peace, Peace, Peace.